Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
