You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i think im in europe. pls send help
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
