So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
