why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
