Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
