Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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