Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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