What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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