got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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