yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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