Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
