it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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