you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
