Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
