you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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