Do you still have your period?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
