just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
