I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
