Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
