I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
