I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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