so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize