I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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