I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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