Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
