I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
