You don't have asthma, your pregnant
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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