Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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