If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
