Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
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she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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