Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
