Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
