I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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