At least make sure they are 18
Why
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
