I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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