oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
