Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
