i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I sprained my soul last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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