Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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