He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
