i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
