But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
