You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
