We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
