wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
