Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
