Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize