Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize