Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
