I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
