i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
