I could have mohawked her pubes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
