I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
