I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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