No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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