Nicole vs. Life
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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