I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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