I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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