you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize