Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
