I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I cut my penus on the lid.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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