I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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