when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
