btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
